Gwange grave yard should be inclusive, by Adama Yerima Balla

Adama Yerima Balla
Adama Yerima Balla

Gwange grave yard should be inclusive. I know some people may start wondering what I am trying to insinuate, whether they do not allow people with disabilities to be buried or what; well I am talking about when you want to visit the tomb of a loved one. So it definitely needs to be inclusive.

Inclusion can be broad in orientation or scope it means allowing and accommodating people who have historically been excluded because of their race, gender, sexuality, or ability. Hence I need access to visit my mom’s tomb to be able to touch the tomb water the plants and whatever. Sadly I won’t be able to do that because there are six (6) graves between and my wheelchair unfortunately cannot cross over them.

The death of my mother on 6th November, 2019 by 2:15pm was an enormous blow that I am healing very slowly from, like we all know that grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The pain I felt when the nurse said BP 0 was so overwhelming.

I experienced all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain disrupted my physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. But doctors said these are normal reactions to loss and the more significant the loss, the more intense my grief will be. My loss is naturally significant and my grief is indeed intense.

Grieving is a highly individual experience; I personally can not tell you the right or wrong way to grieve. However grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.

Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually like in my own case; I cannot hurry it and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. While some people start to feel better in weeks or months but my own grieving process should be measured in years. That notwithstanding whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

I spent most of my 8:00pm to 10:00pm with my mother whenever I am in town or she is in town. I got married and spent 2 years in my husbands house but had to come back to my mothers house because of the insecurity in the neighbourhood I stayed. Consequently from the 19th of December 2016 to the 6th of November 2019 the bond I shared with my mother was indeed huge. I love my mother but she’s gone at least sitting by her tomb will give me some sense of belonging.


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