Hidden blessings of letting go, by Aisha Musa Auyo
When I was in primary school, my grandmother came to visit us, and she was mesmerised by our nature-friendly environment. She said we were just wasting resources by not utilising the space with livestock. So she suggested animal rearing, saying she would send a sheep first, and if all goes well, that sheep will give birth to many others, and in a few years we would have a flock.
She kept her words and sent a pregnant sheep. It was assigned to me since I’m the eldest.
The Fulani in me took over and the bonding was natural for me and my sheep. I fed her morning, and night, I bring her out with a rope in the afternoon for grazing, then return her to the barn in the evening. On a fateful Friday afternoon, I brought her out and tied her to a guava tree in our compound to enable her to graze as usual. I can’t recall what happened, but she cleverly freed herself, and in that euphoria when a captive gains independence, she walked, played, jumped and danced! When she became aware of her absolute freedom, she began to run, somewhere far away from our house, and I followed her. The race continued but I managed to hold the rope. My sister went in to let my parents know of the happening. I was still holding the rope but I fell down, while that ‘wicked’ sheep was still running. I was somersaulting and screaming, but still managed to see my parents laughing like crazy outside. My world was spinning and I had bruises all over my face. Finally, when I couldn’t bear it anymore, I let go of the rope, thus the sheep, and as I managed to open my eyes, my parents are at the spot to pick me up, but still laughing at my stupidity. ‘Yar fari, they all chorused! (firstborns are believed to be idiots).
They calmed me down, soothed my Wounds and finally, they said, “This could be avoided. You should have simply let go of the rope and the sheep, she will come back,”
This is a life lesson I learned the hard way. I’m glad it happened in my early days of life, as within two days, the wounds healed, and in a week all the bruises disappeared. All thanks to the fruits and medication that I’ve been taking. But from that day, I learned to let go of anything I perceive as a threat to my life or my happiness with immediate effect. My instincts always alert me of immediate danger and I respond unhesitatingly. Sometimes even too early that people around me think I do not give people or situations the benefit of the doubt, or that I make early conclusions. Still, better early than late. Letting go comes easy to me because I’ve learned earlier that holding on to that which doesn’t want to stay leads to bruises, wounds and pain.
The recent trends in domestic abuse have made me think, how are we going to reduce this menace in the upcoming generations? How will we raise mentally sound and selfless generations, that will not abuse, and will not tolerate abuse? What are we doing in our power to sensitise our wards of this growing menace?
Human beings especially women tend to hold on to their mental and physical abusers. (Friends, husbands, relatives, house helps or any other person). They endure all kinds of pain and suffering while trying to hold on to what they think is theirs. Until finally when they are bruised, injured, suicidal, or killed. That’s when they let go. When the damage has been done. This has to stop!
I’m not in the position to punish abusers, but the little I can do now is to enlighten you the readers to learn to let go of that which harms you, or that which threatens your happiness and or wellbeing. Learn to follow your instincts, they are there for a reason, and most often than not, they don’t fail us. A stitch in time, they say, saves nine.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A mother of three, Home Maker, caterer, parenting and relationship coach.
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