Surviving without a housemaid (my own way), by Aisha M Auyo
The current trend of housemaids poisoning their employers is so sickening and scary. In recent times it has resurfaced in news for countless times, and one can’t escape seeing one or two videos of such heinous acts. From sexual and physical to mental abuse, housemaids and their masters always have these issues in their relationship.
Whenever I come across such an incident, I wonder why we continue to employ maids, or why others choose to leave their homes and work with people they hate. I had maids, and I grew up with maids in our house. But things are different now. People do not fear God. Humanity is lost. And from the employees to employers, we are all at fault.
In as much as we can agree the maids are vulnerable and are more likely to become victims, these maids have upped their games and the family that employed them are becoming the victims. I’m not here to tell who is right or wrong, but what I know is that maids had abused us, taken advantage of our kindness, stolen from us, and deceived us, to the extent that we decided we are no longer having maids in our home.
Is it easy? No. Is it doable? Yes. We can bring an end to this problem. This issue is almost none existent in developed countries. Regardless of how educated you are, or how wealthy you are, cleaning your home is something one takes pride in doing, except for celebrities and extremely rich people who employ the services of cleaning agencies who can hardly be cheated on, and are less likely to betray too.
Another advantage of doing your house chore is it helps you burn calories. Moving your body here and there, doing this and that makes you burn calories, makes you more energetic and more alert. You gain most of the advantages that comes with doing exercise. Researchers have proven that women who are active around the home are healthier and less likely to be attacked with certain illness, as opposed to women who sit and do nothing all day.
As a homemaker, I’ve devised certain ways on how to survive without a maid, and with the help of Allah, I’m doing fine, if not great. I don’t have the constant apprehension of trying not to harm another person or being harmed by that person. The peace that comes with this feeling is priceless. Many out there today are still battling with choice of hiring a maid or leaving it, hence the need share my ‘maidless’ strategies:
1. Wake up earlier than others, or simply reduce the hours you sleep. You will be surprised at what an extra hour will do to make your work faster and your home cleaner. This can be an hour before everyone wakes up, or an hour after everyone else sleeps. This will give you undivided attention to do whatever needs to be done.
2. Engage other family members. From your kids to whoever you are living with, allocate an age appropriate chore to everyone, and make sure they do it. Even if it’s just cleaning up after their mess. A five-year-old can wash his/their plate and spoon. Can pick up toys, and older than/six years old can change the bedding, bathe themselves, and clean up after using the loo.
3. Clean as you go. From always picking up dirt and cleaning drops with wipes or napkins, to washing dishes as you cook, and immediately after eating, you will manage to have a clean space almost all the time.
4. Reduce the number of plates for dishing up. You know all those fancy food flasks, jugs, spoons, forks, saucers, knives, and big trays, they are not a must. Use only what you need. Except when you have visitors. I mostly dish up from the pot straight to the plate, (there are elegant plating styles to please the eyes) or at most, a plate and a bowl. Fruits could be served or arranged in a big bowl for everyone to eat together. Drinks can be served directly in used water bottles or paper cups so that you can just throw them away after use.
5. Hire a one day help at intervals. The point here is to get someone to help you with things you find hard, and time consuming. For example, laundry is my number one weakness, so we employed someone to come do this, as the person doesn’t have to come and stay with us to achieve this. You can engage them on weekly or bi-weekly basis, so they can help you with bulk cleaning like removing the cobwebs, cleaning the compound, brushing sofas and rugs, and other deep cleanings that will help keep the house sane throughout the weeks. If this is not an option for you, you can just take the clothes to laundry services, as you will need all the help you can get.
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6. The toilets. Depending on the number of people using it, a toilet should be washed every other day. In between, ensure that every mess is cleaned after usage.
7. Fridges and freezers, fridge can be cleaned and decluttered once a week, and freezer can be cleaned once a month, depending on how you do your shopping and cooking.
8. Buy machines that will make your work easier. From washing machine, a strong blender that can blend Tiger nuts and beans, vacuumer, dishwasher, and many others, depending on your pocket size, you need all the help you can get. This is where your husband comes in. He should know that you made a sacrifice for the safety and sanity of the family, and you need his financial support and understanding.
9. Husbands, we need your support here. You see, all those allowances that should have been used to pay a maid, we need it, in two or three folds. We are the glorified house helps now. We keep the home set and safe, a token will motivate us to do better.
Verbal support is a must, commend her efforts for taking good care of the homeland everyone in and the family, it’s not easy. I know it’s her duty, but one or two good words won’t hurt you know ?.
Still, the husband should try to overlook when she sometimes errs in taking care of the house. She is only human, with two hands.
And if you can sometimes help with one or two things when you are less busy, that will be a plus, for you and her, if you know what I mean?.
If you can afford it, make water and electricity 247 thing. This is a necessity, not luxury. She needs this to make work easier for her. Almost all the tasks at home need either electricity, water, or both.
10. Look for temporary help when you are sick or pregnant. Find someone reliable from your family or friends to help you before you get back on your feet.
11. If you can afford it, carve out a playroom or a play area for your kids so that they limit their playing objects to that place. Your living room should always be clean, and a toy here and there will make that mission impossible.
12. The last but not the least, start the day with prayers, and a strong stimulant. A hot black tea or coffee will do the trick, trust me you need it. If you are an addict like me, make sure you never run out of it. Also, make a habit of doing the zikr Subhanallah, alhamdulillah, and Wallahu Akbar, while you go arouand your daily routines. This is what our prophet taught Nana Fatima when she asked him to give her a slave to help her with domestic chores. He said this will be best for her, here and hereafter. Listen to radio, podcasts, Quranic recitation, music, or audiobook. This will energies, entertain, educate and make housework less burdensome and easy for you.
My fellow woman, this piece is not for the one who is sick, pregnant, lazy, or full time working mom(9-5). If you are lucky with your maid, hold on to her, don’t come and kill yourself with work.
But if you are healthy, up and doing, have a flexible job, or not working at all, then this is for you, congratulation. You will be rewarded immensely for this. You will have peace of mind, thus not constantly worrying about what’s going on in your own house. You will raise a family who will learn to manage a home without depending on others. You wont raise another person’s child at the expense of yours. And trust me, it won’t last forever. Once the kids are all grown, you will be able to relax, and do just minor chores.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed and think of getting a maid, trust me this idea will often cross your mind especially if you can afford it. I ask myself if I’m living in UK, or USA, how will I cope? This resets me.
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