‘A Janye Lefe Kuma A Janye Kayan Daki Da Gara’: A Northern Nigeria revolution that needs to happen immediately, by The Savannah Princess
A Northern Nigeria revolution that needs to happen immediately is ‘A janye lefe kuma a janye Kayan daki da Gara’. It will mark a new milestone for marriages in the region. Let new couples start their lives based on their realities, not that of their parents. Millions of Naira are spent on clothes that are too much for the new bride, renting houses that are too big, furniture/kitchen utensils and foodstuff that is too much for two young people just starting their lives and mostly done by indebted parents.
It has made our boys lazy/entitled and our girls expectant/conscientious. In 80% of marriages, the union is built on a lie, so why won’t the marriage fail when reality sinks in? These factors are major reasons for the high divorce rate in our region. You like a boy, be ready to live with him in a place he already lives in. If you intend to marry someone’s daughter and struggle like the Qawwamun you are to make your room, self-contained, flat as decent as your income can without running into financial problems.
Two young people should possess the willingness and dedication to plan their lives, work hard to actualize and have the patience to grow together. If young couples don’t have a store full of foodstuff they didn’t buy, they won’t cook seven-course meals and host Ten friends daily.
If the marriage started with the husband buying Indomie, cosmetics, insecticide & gas from day one, he won’t tantrum or lower the standard the first time he has to buy them when gara/life finishes a year after the wedding, while the wifey will learn to live within his means from day one.
READ ALSO: Surviving without a housemaid (my own way), by Aisha M Auyo
The social realities are changing by the day, we cannot continue to hold on to fake/deceptive ways that are simply detrimental to our society. If only the millions of Naira being spent on marriages that happen weekly are used for business startups, the North will not be a poor place.
Boxes, furniture, a stack of warmers, cosmetics, and show glasses will only be flashy and fashionable for a maximum of five years, they are a liability that will have to be upgraded over time.
Businesses are investments that will grow over time. Instead of waiting for reality to set in and reset the marriage, why not start with reality? Let us not wait until the high rates of immorality, divorce rates, and inability to marry currently being faced become uncontrollable to have these conversations and take necessary stands.
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