Before you assume, learn the facts; before you judge, understand why, by Aisha M Auyo
My mam and her colleagues were sitting in the famous Faculty of Education train BUK, a corridor that linked 5 faculties in the New site then, before the renovation. A lady walked by, and her ID card fell from her books.
They kept calling her attention but she ignored them. One of them even attempted to run after her, while yelling the name they saw on the card, but she cared not to look back. They got annoyed and decided to let her pay for the consequences of her arrogance.
In those days, (I don’t know for now), when a student lost a school ID card, they have to bring evidence of a police report. If exams are approaching, the student may be given a temporary ID card from the admin before they present the evidence and a new ID card will be processed for them. This protocol ain’t an easy one. I’ve gone through it. It was my first time going to the police station.
My mam’s colleagues assumed that the girl was doing ‘Yanga’, a typical snobbish attitude of undergraduate ladies. So they plan to throw away the ID card. My mam, being her usual kind person begged them not to, she collected the card with the intention that she will take it to the lady’s department after work. As she read the name on the card, she identified the surname. We live in the same neighbourhood.
READ ALSO: Kindness always pays, by Aisha Musa Auyo
After work, she went to the house and gave them the card, explaining to them how they kept calling the girl and she didn’t bother to answer. One of the mothers in the house said, ‘Ai bazata amsaba, tanada matsalar kunne, bata ji’. (Meaning she couldn’t answer them because she is deaf). Mam was so happy and relieved that she helped, and promise to let her colleagues know about the lady’s condition.
You see, if not for our human nature that we are quick to assume, a thorough look into the ID card will reveal that the student is from the Department of special education. Most of the students in the department are either deaf, blind, or mute, and we are obliged to help them in any way that we can. My mam’s colleagues are kind, for they could ignore the card when it fell. They attempted to help her. They even called her name and ran after her. What they did wrong is the ‘Judging’. They were quick to assume.
But they are only human. We do this all the time. You and I. We are quick to judge and assume. I’ve been accused of being a snub because I couldn’t recognize some of my relatives, colleagues, or, classmates. What people did not know is I’ve been diagnosed with Prosopagnosia, a medico-social disorder characterized by difficulty recognizing family members and close friends. (I’ll write extensively on the topic next week inshaAllah.)
This judging and quick-to-assume syndrome didn’t stop in our offline interaction with others. We brought it online. It’s especially unforgiving if it’s coming from a vendor. I read yesterday a comment from a vendor complaining that she did a voice-over of the price and location of her items, yet some annoying people kept asking her for that information.
The question here is, what if some of those asking her are deaf? What if they don’t understand the language she used? Of the few thousand friends I have on Facebook, some of them are deaf. About 7 of them have reached out to me. Many others have not. We interact with them, and they comment and react, but we don’t know what they’re battling with. You may have similar people in your contacts too, or you may come across them on other social platforms.
Please let us be less judgemental, It’s God’s responsibility, not ours.
Please let us have more compassion.
Please let us have more patience.
Before we assume, let’s learn the fact.
Before we judge, let’s understand why.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology, a wife, a mother of three, a Home Maker, a chef, and a parenting/ relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk.
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