Husband Discovers Wife’s Hidden Wealth: Love and trust broken
In 2016, my wife revealed that her salary was N35,000. Two years later, when she received a promotion, I inquired about her new salary, and she replied, “Oh, these people, don’t mind them. They only added N8,000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up numerous responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities, food expenses, school fees for our children, their medical bills, and even sanitary pads. She started requesting money for clothes and dresses, which she would then show me and ask me to pay for. She also mentioned wanting a car when our second child was born. However, my financial situation wasn’t stable at the time, so I requested some time before agreeing to her proposal.
For three months straight, my ears were constantly bombarded with her requests for repayment. I grew tired of it and settled the debt when my account balance was low. That evening, I turned on my laptop and discovered that it was my wife’s email that had been opened. Upon checking her inbox, I stumbled upon a message with the subject “January Payslip.” I opened it and was taken aback by what I saw: N654,734! How could my wife earn such a high salary without my knowledge? My curiosity led me to investigate further.
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I started with her best friend’s messages but found nothing significant. Her family’s WhatsApp group provided some clues. Her father had sent pictures of the various stages of their building project. At one point, he expressed gratitude towards her for helping out her brother because he would have been home otherwise. She only had one brother – her senior brother – who had lost his job and was unemployed at the time. When I checked their chat logs, it became apparent that my wife had purchased a Hyundai i10 for him to use as an Uber driver. Every week, he would send an account report to her and they would split the earnings. From what I gathered from their conversations, my wife was doing quite well for herself while presenting herself as poor so she could rely on my income.
The following morning, I noticed that my wife seemed uneasy. I decided to wait until I calmed down before initiating a conversation about what I had discovered. When I felt more composed, I asked her why she would do such a thing to me. She asked who told me everything. I replied that her father had disclosed all the information to me through their WhatsApp messages. She was taken aback when I inquired about why her father would tell me such things and what we were discussing during our conversation.
We left it at that and continued our day as usual. A few minutes later, she returned with her phone and informed me that her father wanted to speak with me over the phone. The conversation was conducted over a loudspeaker as she handed me the device. Her father appeared agitated as he questioned whether I said he told his daughter that she had a building project underway that he was managing. He asked whether he ever said such a thing and when? After some back-and-forth bantering between us, I informed him that his daughter had informed me of everything through their WhatsApp messages – from the land purchase to the construction process – and that he was overseeing the project on her behalf. He started apologizing profusely because he believed that I already knew about it all along. My wife stood there silently without knowing what to say or do next.
Trust between us was broken; love had been shattered as well. We both knew we needed to find a new way of coexisting moving forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything while sometimes taking responsibility for his daughter’s actions so that I wouldn’t have to blame her directly. However, at that point in time, my emotions were too intense to think rationally or forgive easily; hence, all I could do was ask them both to leave me alone so that I could think things over calmly. From last month until now (as I write this), my wife has changed significantly; she no longer asks for money but is instead running the household efficiently on her own accord without any assistance from me whatsoever. She has started paying for things she never paid for before but this doesn’t affect me in any way; instead, it serves as a lesson learned – one which has been taken seriously by both parties involved in this situation: “In everything,” as she put it herself,”I have to look out for myself and my family first.”
Lastly, she suggested changing the names on their properties; however, after considering all options available to us at this time (including selling our land), we decided against making any alterations whatsoever since they are hers – she earned them through hard work and dedication – so we will keep them as they are now! The car she is currently driving has her name on it; however, some weeks ago, we placed a “For Sale” sign on it since she agreed to pay for it herself within two months or else we will sell it and take our money back! She seems to be getting the message loud and clear; however, she still keeps asking whether we will separate or not! In response to her queries every now and then (which have become less frequent over time), all I can say is that “I won’t leave the marriage,” but if she wants some space from us both (even if just temporarily), then please feel free to take whatever action you deem necessary!
What will you do if you are in my position and feeling deeply hurt?
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