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NP’s Family Dynamics on Sunday: A Nigerian mum seeks our thoughts on “Love, Favoritism, and Unspoken Secrets”
“Dear Sis Eesher, I had a daughter before I married my present husband, and he had a son too. When we got married, my daughter was with my mum, and years later, my mum died, so I brought my daughter to live with us.
“Initially, my husband did not like it, but months later, he is all over my daughter. I was happy that he had accepted her, but it became strange. This man will go to work and when coming back, he will branch out and buy food and snacks in a nylon and drop it for my daughter, sometimes my daughter will give her siblings from it, and other times she will eat it alone.
“We finished building our house, moved before December, and my husband insisted that my daughter have the master bedroom since it has everything inside. I became confused, and asked him about this awkward decision, he said that he didn’t want her to suffer like I suffered and that he wanted a good life for her.
“My daughter will soon go back to school, she is schooling in the North, while we live in the South. He now wants to change her school, which he said is too far and not safe. Somebody who is already in year 2.
“His son whom he had before he married me, keeps on telling me to open my eyes well before sand enters, I don’t know what he knows that I don’t know.
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“He gave me 150k for about 6 of us for Christmas and gave my daughter 120k. When I asked my daughter why, she said because she was the first daughter of the house.
“If my daughter is eating beans, it is beans everybody will eat. If she is eating yam, the same thing will happen. On Year’s Day, we wanted to eat pounded yam, immediately my daughter said she was eating fried rice, and he said they would eat fried rice. I refused to cook it and he went to order the food for the children.
“I don’t understand anymore, too many things that I cannot even explain. I’m confused. Please help me post and also pray for me and my home.
Dear reader, Have you encountered a similar family situation, and if so, how was it resolved?
What are your thoughts on the husband favoring the daughter over his wife, Justified or concerning?
What secrets do you think the son knows, and how might they affect the family? What advice would you give to the woman seeking guidance on her family situation?
Are the husband’s intentions genuinely rooted in concern for the daughter, or could other factors be at play? How do cultural or societal expectations shape the family dynamics in this story?
If you were part of this family, how would you address the issues raised in the story? How do you perceive the daughter’s role, and is she aware of the impact her preferences have on the household?
Your responses could save a home. Please be emphatic and kind. We are looking forward to hearing your views.
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