Overcoming Insecurity: Do you ever feel like you are not good enough?, by Musa Sakinat Abubakar
Have you ever found yourself constantly comparing yourself with others and feeling like you are coming up short? Do you hesitate to try new things because you are sure you will be bad at them?
Does your inner critic whisper in your ear while you are at work, spending time with your friends or even when you are simply trying on clothes in the mirror?
These cycles of self doubt and insecurity can be exhausting to live with. It doesn’t let you believe in yourself, holds you back from trying new things, and keeps you feeling living your best life.
According to Aimee Daramus, PSYD, “insecurity is usually a belief that you are a failure as a person”. Yes it is, I believe so and I have seen someone in that state, believe me, he or she is always uncomfortable about others achievements.
Although insecurity can look and feel different to everyone, these are some common signs and symptoms below:
Constant self doubt: There’s a nagging voice in your head that makes you doubt your abilities, appearance, and worthiness.
Negative self talk: Your inner critic is constantly focused on perceived flaws or shortcomings, berating you repeatedly for every little mistakes you make.
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Excessive comparison: You frequently compare yourself to others and feel inferior as a result.
Seeking of Approval: You feel like you need the validation and approval of others to feel worthy or accepted.
The fear of Rejection: Do you have a strong fear of being judged, criticised, or rejected by others. Sensitivity to criticism: Even minor criticism can feel devastating, confirming your inner doubts and insecurities.
Challenge your negative thoughts
Negative thoughts often don’t align with reality.
Perhaps you carry the misconception that a colleague doesn’t like you, or a hurtful comment a teacher made years ago continues to echo in your head.
These scenarios don’t reflect your value, and your mind may have blown them out of proportion. Instead, try talking to yourself as a third party, like a friend, and putting the negative thoughts in perspective.
Stop comparing yourself
Comparing yourself to others is one of the core reasons many people have a negative self-image. You may see friends achieve financial goals, find supportive partners, or get professional recognition before you do and feel you’re falling behind.
But remember: everyone works at their own pace and is on a unique path to success. Celebrate your wins without measuring whether they’re bigger or smaller than those of your friends.
Remember that you are worthy of love and starting with your own.
