Secrets to elegance and self-care for women, by Aisha M Auyo
Come, let me share some secrets with you, my sis. Sure, there are many that will not accept it as a fact, that, most men dislike heavy makeup and artificial stuff. Of course, like in every rule, there’re exceptions. So, know your man.
The bottom line of my gust, is that, there’s a way you can look very classy, elegant, and feminine without using hard makeup or loud stuff. Yes, in most cases, decent men prefer natural looks of the opposite gender.
Gurl, (This also applies to you, bro.!). In all cases, neatness is paramount. Bath at least twice a day. Take time to wash your underarms, under and between busts, your thighs, and navel. Pay attention to your feet, areas around your ears, between your face and neck, and wash down there with warm clean water.
Brush your teeth at least twice a day, and floss at least once a day. Shave, at least once a week. Use deodorant, at least once a day. Use alum or lemon on your armpit if deodorant is expensive for you. Once in a week, try to exfoliate your lips. Dry cracked lips are a turn-off. Mix sugar and olive oil to form a scrub, then rub on your lips for a few minutes. Clean with a wipe. Repeat the process more than once a week if you have dry skin. The result is something I consider a subject for another day. But just know for now, that, moisturized and soft lips are more alluring than lipstick-painted lips.
You see, exfoliation or scrubbing is very essential. Every day, our body releases new cells and the old cells die. Normal soaps do not exfoliate. This is where bath salts, bath sugars, scrubs, and exfoliating body washes come in. These products make sure that the dead cells leave your skin, and let the new cells breathe. This will make your skin look fresher, softer and younger. This will make you neat and glow. Just as it will help eradicate bad smells from your body.
There are cheaper options if, money is a problem. Lemon. Squeeze lemon on your bathing water, it helps to remove dirt and impurities on your skin. It as well,, removes all bad smells and won’t let your sweat smell during the day. It also lightens your complexion and leaves your bathroom smelling fresh. Scrubbing your body with salt once in a while similarly does the trick. Henna (lalle) also helps in exfoliating, softening and removing bad smells from the skin.
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On perfume, this is tricky especially for us the Muslims, because our religion frowns at women using it. So deodorant, cool body spray, and a kullaccam will do when you’re going out. When you’re home, if you like, bath with perfume 🤣. If you’re married, check with your husband what kind of perfume he prefers on you.
Another very important self-care is manicure and pedicure. You see, the first thing people, both men and women, subconsciously observe in your body is your feet. It’s important therefore, to work on your toes and fingers. Make sure your nails are trimmed. Learn how to cut cuticles and shape your nails. If you can afford it, go to the salon for the service of experts.
Long nails are a turn off please! if you must color your nails, as a Muslim, please use natural henna. Black or red or maroon. If you’re married, check if your husband likes it before you do. “Kada garin neman gira a rasa ido.’
Let’s talk about the feet. Our feet must be clean, regardless of the weather or your skin type. If you have dry skin and cracked feet, make time every day to exfoliate the dead cells, and apply shear butter after every ablution and bath. That will soften the feet and make it look neat. Also, use socks most of the time. If you’re lucky your feet don’t crack, make sure they’re always dirt-free and moisturized. Cracked, dirty, and dry feet are a turn-off. Soft, moisturized, neat feet are a turn-on.
For your palms, always use moisturizers after washing or using water. Because we ladies touch water a lot, this results in dryer, harder palms. Coconut oil, olive oil, and shea butter help with moisture and softness, but they do darken the skin there. As a way to overcome this, let’s look out for creams called hand creams made specifically for hands. If you can’t afford one, vaseline also works wonderfully well.
Dear lady, the choice of body cream or moisturizer you use has a very significant effect on your life. I’m not exaggerating. Girls who are comfortable with their skin color, in other words, girls who do not bleach their skin clearly exhibit contentment in the way our Lord created them. They exude confidence, and they don’t smell like rotten fish when they’re under the sun. These types of ladies have almost the same skin color in their entire body and do not have to hide their palms and toes.
Don’t disobey your lord, and harm your body just to attract men. Decent men prefer women in their natural colors. Moreover, while your skin color or body may attract a man, but it’s your character that will keep him.
Universally, that’s in time and space, women have always known that our hair and how we take care of it, plays a huge role in our looks and attractiveness.
Wash your hair regularly. Plait your hair, or style it in ways that accentuate your beauty. (Some ladies look better with braids, while others look better without them.) Or, in ways your husband prefers… if you’re married.
Wash your hair with shampoo and conditioner regularly. Steam it monthly. Dry your hair after washing. Find a good-smelling hair moisturizer, or use natural oils that smell nice. You can add a drop of oil perfume to your hair creams or oils. When you’re home, please allow your hair to breathe.
On jewelry, I think earrings are the basic. If you can, necklaces and waist beads are a perfect addition. Some people like anklets, nose piercings, bracelets, wristwatches, rings, etc. Please don’t overdo it, it’s classless! Keep it simple and modest.
When it comes to clothes, decency should never be compromised. But please don’t look like a granny when you’re in your teen or even anything less than 60 years old. Even the grannies are now slaying… they no gree for anybody!
Tight clothes are bad for religiously and health-wise. Tight clothes make you look cheap and classless. Even hygiene-wise, tight clothes are bad. People who wear tight clothes smell! Yes, because the human body needs to breathe and tight clothes hinder that process.
Avoid shouty colors, or mismatched colors when dressing. Don’t interchange corporate dressing with wedding attire. Dress nicely and appropriately for each occasion, and don’t take any outing for granted. You don’t know who you’ll see or meet. The phrase ‘Dress the way you want to be addressed’ is something you should always hold on to.
Accessories like shoes and bags are available at different prices. You know better than me what you can afford. But they’re a must-have for ladies. Use shoes that will not embarrass you. Use shoes that are comfy, and will not splash sand on your feet, we are in Nigeria abeg. When they say there are shoes for car owners and trekkers, understand that it’s nothing but the truth. Shoe shining and polishing is not only for men. Let your shoes and bags be neat, please.
Let me stop here… I’m tired😒… I’ll conclude with this statement. “No matter how neat and beautiful you are, you sink, if your character stinks. In other words, there ain’t no need telling it: with a character that stinks,, you’re finished, girl. So work on your personality more than your physicality”.
You are welcome😉.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, caterer, parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk
