How do I heal, when my heart is heavy with regret?

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How do I heal, when my heart is heavy with regret?

On this week’s episode of Neptune Prime Family Dynamics with Eesher, a distraught mother shared an occurrence that’s haunting her. Please be kind and empathetic as you read and respond to her story.

“Dear sis Eesher

I’m here to pour out my mind for relief, and to ask your readers to help me seek forgiveness from our Lord. I’m deeply sorry.

Here is my story ma’am. I have a sister-in-law staying with me; she’s 26 years old sickler.

I tend to expect a lot from her in terms of housework, forgetting that she is not that strong. I treat everyone around me well, including her but recently, I started having issues with her about domestic chores. We had a misunderstanding and started exchanging words; I got angry and asked her to pack out and go back to her mom’s house because I could no longer tolerate that level of disrespect. By Allah, I didn’t mean it.

She started packing her things, and I asked where she was going. She said she was tired, that I didn’t appreciate her effort in taking care of my house and children, and that she was leaving. I locked my gate; I said you will not go anywhere until I inform my mother-in-law.

She went out without carrying any bag, so I assume we are okay. I’m a nurse; I was on duty that same day; she came to my workplace to collect the house key from me, which I gave her. It never occurred to me that she was leaving. She packed her things and moved to her friend’s place.

Her action made me reflect on our relationship, and it occurred to me that I have not been treating her well. I started WhatsApp her to come back she said no. She later apologized for talking back at me, and I begged her again to come back home, if not for anything but for the sake of her health and my children, who miss her.

She insisted that she was not coming back.13 days after she left, she fell sick, and her friend took her to hospital without informing me. They called me the next day and I went there immediately. Upon reaching there, I told them how furious I was for not being informed before taking her to the hospital. She was not responding to treatment there, and I asked for her immediate discharge. The hospital bill was high, so we started looking for money to settle the hospital.

My sister-in-law was getting weaker, and I forgot to transfuse blood for her; I was busy trying to source funds. She died a few hours after she was discharged.

I’m in pain; I can’t just stop thinking about her; I don’t know what comes over me to start having issues with her. I’m regretting all my actions. I don’t know how I can forgive myself because she loved me, and I loved her too. But little correction leads to misunderstanding.

Pls, sister Eesher, I need a nice comment so that I can feel relieved.”

Dear poster, know that you can’t change the past, but you can improve the future. Find peace in reading the Quran and seeking forgiveness from our Lord. With time, you will be healed. It’s incredibly painful to reflect on past actions and wish we could change things. Remember that regret, while a heavy burden, can also be a powerful teacher. Use this experience to nurture deeper compassion, not just for others but also for yourself. Forgiveness is a journey, and though the path is difficult, it is essential for healing. Honor her memory by praying for her, committing to kindness and understanding in your relationships moving forward.

Dear reader, please know that the writer is truly disturbed and wants to find closure. We should understand that even if the sister inlaw were still living with the poster, her days in this world would surely end that very day. Our days in this world are numbered, and regardless of where we are, we will inevitably answer the call.

This situation should serve as a wake-up call and a reminder to be more patient with our fellow human beings, especially those close to us or living with us. We do not know when their death or ours will come. Let us strive to live in peace with one another. Some things are not worth fighting over. This dunya (world) is temporary, and nothing lasts forever.

Much love, Sis Eesher.

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