Strains in Marital Union: Options to consider before divorce, by Jamila Yunusa Suleiman
Marriage is a universal institution of the union of people of opposite gender, who as a couple, have decided to stay committed to each other with the dream or, hope of building together, a bright and blissful future. Naturally, love and trust are fundamental to marriage.
However, important as they are to the making of strong and enduring unions, the success of a marriage cannot solely depend on the factors of love and trust. Marriages are also strongly built on the pillars of sacrifices and concerted efforts from both parties.
As beautiful and appealing as a marital union appear, it does however, have its ups and downs largely due to individual differences from both parties. While in some cases, both parties work on their differences for understanding and harmony towards achieving same marital goals, in most other cases, those differences lead to the end the union between couples.
In a lot of instances, marriages which had seemed like a forever-deal encounter incidents of abrupt end mostly as a result of incessant selfish behaviour, infidelity and sundry acts of gross irresponsibility. Marriages also can crash when love simply and, inexplicably, fades out of the union leading to lack of empathy, compassion or, a touch of humanity.
There are therefore, certain situations and developments that make the dissolution of marriage inevitable and the best of options.
However, before ending the union, it is imperative that couples exhaust all other healthy options that can rekindle the spark in the marriage. In other words, in cases where differences can be worked on, why should divorce be the first or, the only option?
In view of the alarming spread of the plague of divorce with the attendant negative repercussions on the society, it has become paramount that couples give greater consideration to amicable resolution of their differences.
Couples should bear it in mind that, it is only natural you and your spouse have differences to settle once in a while and that, just like the teeth and the tongue, it takes effort from both parties for the marriage to be blissful. Both parties have to be ready to make sacrifices, putting into consideration your spouse’s feelings, strength and weaknesses. It is a team work not a sign of weakness as it is erroneously perceived by some people. Very importantly, it is critical that couples who desire to remain in marriage should be relentless in seeking the Almighty’s blessings and guidance all through.
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However, when a couple is faced with unending marital crises which compels mutual consideration of divorce, the couple should consider the following suggested panaceas or, strategies:
1) Opt for separation before divorce, that period could just be the perfect time to reflect, heal and working things out.
2)Both parties should carry out a sincere self evaluation to ascertain where he or she went wrong.
3) Sign up for marriage counselling sessions with a professional counsellor.
4) Talk to eachother and develop a healthy communication mode where feelings are expressed without hurting eachother.
4) Sincerely accept their mistakes and work on being a better version of themselves.
5) Avoiding a third party except when necessary.
6) Design a module which works for your marriage considering strength and weaknesses both parties.
Ultimately, much as we cherish and crave that marriages should endure through thick and thin, “for better for worse”, there are scenarios however, that some marriages cannot but be deliberately allowed to break up. For example, it is advisable that when a marriage becomes life threatening, parting ways becomes the only option to avoid untimely death or other forms of calamities to either or both parties to the union.
Proofreading by Sir Ayuba Ahmed, Editor at Neptune Prime.
