“We are being judged by a new yardstick; [….] The new measure takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities; such as initiative and empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness.” Daniel Goleman.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is not being ‘wishy-washy’, emotions represent a major part of our identity. Emotional Intelligence is about the consciousness of our feelings and those of others. It is about being intelligent about our emotions. (D. Goleman).
Emotions are not a distraction and do not disrupt our work lives.
Definition of Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional Intelligence is the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. (D. Goleman).
In this presentation, we will focus on:
- Understanding emotional intelligence and how it can improve your effectiveness as a leader.
- Discussing the five competencies that determine one’s level of emotional intelligence.
- Exploring how being smart with our emotions can improve our decision-making and leadership skills.
Personal Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
- Becoming less confrontational in your interactions with others.
- Acting in a more even-tempered manner.
- Contributing to a positive climate around yourself.
Professional Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
- Improved leadership skills.
- More effective communication.
- Improved decision-making.
- More motivated followers.
The Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence
- Self-Awareness
- Self-Regulation
- Self-Motivation
- Empathy
- Effective Relationships (Social Skill)
Self Awareness
Self Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
Hallmarks:
- Emotional Self-Awareness
- Realistic Self-Awareness
- Self Confidence
Developing Self-Awareness
- The more we know ourselves, the better we are able to control and choose what kind of behaviours we will display in a work setting.
- By paying attention to our emotions, they can provide us with key information about our responses to a challenging situation.
Self Regulation
The Qur’an and Self Regulation;
Be patient (in adversity); for verily, God will not let the reward of the righteous be wasted. The Holy Qur’an, Chapter 11, Verse 115.
The Prophet’s(S) Self Regulation: When Prophet Muhammed (S) became angry at someone else’s wrong actions or disbeliefs, he never expressed it with his hand or tongue. His companions knew that he was angry by looking at his face, which would be red and with some sweat on his forehead, and he would keep quiet for a moment, trying to control himself.
The Prophet(s): True Strength?
- Once he asked a question of his companion, “who among you do you consider a strong man?” They said the one who can defeat so and so wrestler in a fight, and he said, that is not so. The one who is strong is the one who can control himself at the time of anger.
Du’a for attaining self-regulation
Oh, Lord! Forgive us our sins as well as those of our brothers who proceeded us in faith and let not our hearts entertain any unworthy thoughts or feelings against (any of) those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness and most Merciful. (59:10)
Developing Self Regulation
- Recognize that you are responsible for how you respond emotionally.
- Practice “rethinking” stressful situations into ones that present a challenge, but can be managed.
- Learn what ‘Triggers” you emotionally and how to channel them.
Self Motivation
- A passion for work for reasons that go beyond money or status.
- A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
Hallmarks:
- Strong drive to achieve
- Optimism, even in the face of failure
- Organizational commitment.
Developing self-motivation
- Be aware that emotions can be a positive force in your life
- Identify how you justify your own responses when you face a difficulty. Don’t engage in self-blame. Rather, ask ‘what can I do about this?’
- Strive to be in your ‘groove’ where you and your environment are clicking harmoniously together.
Empathy
Empathy: It is part of the mercy of Allah that you deal greatly with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you: so pass over (their fruits), and ask for (Allah’s) forgiveness for them, and consult them in affairs (of the moment). Then, when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). Al’ Imran, 3:159.
Empathy:
- The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people.
- Skills in treating people according to their emotional reactions.
Hallmarks:
- Expertise in building and retaining talent
- Cross-cultural sensitivity
- Service to clients and customers.
Muhammad is only a messenger before whom many messengers have been and gone. If he died or was killed, would you revert to your old ways? If anyone did so, he would not harm God in the least. God will reward the grateful. Al Imran 3:144.
Muslims and Empathy
- The Prophet Muhammad (S) said; “Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to people.” Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 9, 473.
- The Prophet Muhammad (S) said, “None of you truly believes until he wishes for himself what he wishes for himself.” Bukhari and Muslim.
Developing Empathy
- Empathy means being able to see from another person’s perspective and to respond properly to their needs.
- Pay attention to the emotional signals from another person or group.
- Empathy is usually reciprocated.
Effective Relationships (Social skill)
- Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks.
- An ability to find common ground and build rapport.
Hallmarks
- Effectiveness in leading change
- Persuasiveness
- Expertise in building and leading learns
Effective Relationships in Islam
The Prophet Muhammad(s) said; “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbour, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evils and dirty talk).” Narrated by Abu Hurayrah, Sahih Al Bukhari, Vol. 8 Hadith 47.
Muslims’ Past Skill at Solving Conflicts: A Testimonial of Their High EI
It is related by Muhammad ibn Jafar, a Companion of the Prophet, that a Christian delegation came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Abu-I Qasim, send one of your companions with us, one in whom you are well pleased, to judge between us on some questions of property about which we disagree among ourselves. We have high regard for you Muslim people.”
Building effective relationships:
Use all five emotional competencies to:
- Influence towards what is good.
- Using ‘Shura’ effectively as you seek to build consensus.
- Motivate and inspire others to work, fisabilillah.
Can Emotional Intelligence be learned?
- EI born in the neurotransmitters of the brains’ limbic system.
- The limbic system (our emotional brain) learns differently than the neocortex (our rational brain).
- Most training focuses on the neocortex and may affect a person’s performance negatively.
- To enhance EI, refocus training to include the limbic system.
Honourable Mahuta writes from Katsina.
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