15 Years Of Infertility Struggles: Josephine Muyiwa-Afolabi’s emotional rollercoaster to parenthood
Infertility is a deeply personal and often challenging journey that affects countless individuals and couples around the world.
Josephine Muyiwa-Afolabi, a woman who experienced infertility due to a blocked fallopian tube, fibroids, and hormonal imbalances, shares her 15-year torturous journey to motherhood.
“My name is Josephine Muyiwa-Afolabi. I got married in October 2007, and, like every new couple, we expected to have a baby after the first few months, but that didn’t happen. After one year, my husband and I went to the hospital for a medical check-up. His results were perfect, while my ultrasound reports showed that one of my ovaries was nonfunctional. Additionally, the fallopian tube that leads to the second ovary was blocked with tiny fibroids.
A few months later, we went to a different hospital, where they asked us to do a hormonal assay. The test results showed that I was experiencing hormonal imbalance and I was given some drugs, which I took for almost five years, yet there was no conception.
Our in vitro fertilisation experience
In 2014, which was the seventh year of our marriage, the doctors suggested that we should opt for In Vitro Fertilization [IVF]. I was already 36 years old, and my biological clock was ticking, so we accepted the option. We went to one of the best hospitals in Port Harcourt, and they told us that it would cost over N2m. Since we didn’t have the money, we took a loan from the bank.
After we commenced the procedure, I was placed on different types of drugs to prepare my body for pregnancy. Some weeks later, when the doctors checked me, they said my body wasn’t responding to the drugs, and there was also another complication. That was how I was given injections for 74 days.
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Finally, they succeeded in retrieving and fertilising 14 eggs, and four of them were implanted in my womb. The next stage was to wait for two weeks before running a pregnancy test. On the day of the test, my husband and I were shocked when the result was negative. Yes! None of the four embryos survived, and that was how all the money and time were wasted.
Four months after that experience, I fell into depression. My condition was so bad that I stopped talking to everyone, including my husband. In fact, I moved out of the room we shared and was staying in another room. I wasn’t cooking, and I wasn’t eating very well. All I was doing was locking myself up and crying. I also stopped going to church. This went on for two months. So, on the cross-over night to 2015, I went to church and cried my eyes out unto God. He heard me, and healed my heart. After that encounter, I apologised to my husband for ignoring him during my depressing moments.
The Fibroid Experience
A year after the IVF procedure, I started experiencing severe pain in my abdomen. When we went to the hospital, they gave me drugs, yet the pain didn’t go away. An ultrasound showed the presence of five big fibroids. So, in 2016, the doctors performed surgery to remove the fibroids. After the myomectomy, they assured us that we would conceive a child within the next six months. Guess what? We waited for more than a year, and nothing happened.
Did you know that I became addicted to monitoring my menstrual cycle? I was always testing for pregnancy with my home kit, and each time, I was disappointed. In 2017, we went for another IVF, which cost over N2.7m. Did it work? Sadly, it didn’t. In 2018, we tried again, and it still failed.
Two years later, someone recommended a prominent hospital in Abuja that had many reviews of successful IVFs. When we went there, they told us that it would cost about N4.3m. We paid, hoping that it was going to be our final solution. This time around, we didn’t even get to the stage of transferring the embryos into the womb because all the embryos died. When I heard the news, I broke down in tears.
Did you know that despite the failed IVFs, my husband was still hopeful that something good might come out of it? He even suggested that we should try again. Initially, I refused, but accepted later on. Was it successful? No! It wasn’t, and that was how we lost another N3.2m. In total, we did five IVFs, and I took countless drugs, yet nothing happened.
Our Journey To Adoption
During the 15 years that we waited for conception, we also tried to adopt a child. The first attempt was in Port Harcourt. We applied and got approval from the government to pick a child from any government-approved orphanage home. However, when we got there, the managers of the orphanages told us that no baby was available. They asked us to come back next time, but each time we went, they kept giving us different excuses. Some years later, we still tried the adoption process in Calabar, but it didn’t work out.
Criticisms And Stigmatisation
During our waiting period, I was mocked and stigmatized by some friends, family members, church members, neighbors, colleagues, and even acquaintances. However, what hurt me the most was being mocked by some of my family members. They laughed at me whenever my nieces or younger ones gave birth to a child. They even said I had a spiritual husband who was preventing me from having children in the physical world. However, contrary to what is prevalent in our society, my in-laws were very kind and supportive.
The miraculous birth of Miss Sarabeth
After the failed IVFs and adoption experiences, I got tired and ruled out every plan I had concerning having a baby. I even stopped praying for a child. So, around August 2021, my husband asked me to follow him to a particular prayer meeting that was holding in Abuja. When he said it, I told him that I wasn’t going anywhere.
Do you know how many mountains I had visited to pray and fast for a child? In fact, at that point, I had lost my faith in God and wasn’t really interested in any other prayer meetings. However, when I saw that my husband was bent on attending the programme, I accepted to join him.
When we got there, I didn’t even participate in the singing and praying sessions. I was just looking at everyone. At the end of the meeting, my husband suggested that we see the minister for counseling. When we entered his office, the first thing he said was, “You don’t have a child, right?”
After we affirmed it, he revealed that all the infertility issues I had experienced in the last 15 years were because an evil woman had tied my womb in the spiritual realm. The same woman was responsible for all the pain and health issues I had been experiencing. He went ahead to pray for us and assured us that the spell had been broken.
It was a simple prayer, and, this time around, God showed up and wiped away our sorrows. Two months after that encounter, we discovered that I was pregnant for the first time in my life. I was 43 years old when this miracle happened, and I don’t think I have the perfect words to express how I felt when the doctors confirmed the results.
The pregnancy journey was smooth, and in June 2022, our beautiful daughter, Miss Sarabeth, was born to the glory of God. That deliverance session also opened new doors of opportunity that took us overseas.
In everything that happened, I’m grateful to God for showing me mercy and making me a mother. I am also thankful for the gift of a good husband who stood by me all through this journey, despite the fact that he had no medical issues. He also motivated me during my low moments and kept praying for me. I just can’t thank him enough.
Final Words
Infertility is a delicate topic, and only someone who has experienced it will understand the pain, anxiety, and heartbreaks that are involved. Since I started talking about my experience, many women who are going through infertility have told me that they were inspired after listening to my story.
Not all infertility issues are caused by spiritual manipulation. So, while praying for a child, feel free to try other options like IVF, adoption, or even surrogacy. I have counselled some women to try IVF, and today, they have their babies”.
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