Ignorance is not a bliss: A mother’s struggle with Sickle Cell, by Jamila Y. Suleiman
Ignorance they say is bliss but only to the ignorant. Over the years I have read articles on Sickle Cell
Disease, I witnessed some close associates of mine deal with the unending crisis. Little did I know it was going to be a first-hand experience for me.
I got married without a genotype investigation, though my spouse was very sincere with his as I
carelessly assumed I was of the AA genotype because my siblings all had the AA genotype except for my
immediate elder brother, careless right?
My genotype Status dawned on me during the routine medical
test for antenatal, during my first pregnancy. Naturally, I broke down, and full of disappointment, I prayed and cried. I had my first
child and two more which are all declared healthy and free of Sickle Cell Disease. It is a huge blessing. With each baby, family members would congratulate me, and join me in thanking and praising Allah, and I sure felt like I hit a jackpot!
READ ALSO: REVELATION : How health workers in Gombe issue fake genotype certificates for a token
Four years passed by after the birth of my third child, and just then pain and fear decided to take a seat in the kingdom of bliss. I had taken myself for an ultrasound in one of the prestigious Ultrasound service providers, where I was declared 8 weeks gone. I took one of the fastest routes to my place, walking slowly but I could feel my heart beating faster, I didn’t have the excitement of pregnancy because
all I felt were premonitions.
I will cry myself to sleep and some nights will be spent wide awake with in deep thought. This created a feeling of melancholy in my days. I
started my antenatal clinics at 12 weeks of gestation, I became even more prayerful even though I knew I
had very slim chances of having a child who wouldn’t be of the SS genotype as scientifically proven. Time
passed so fast and it was 40 weeks already. I welcomed my bundle of joy with much happiness and
prayers but with so much fear and guilt.
The tension in me grew as days passed by, he was one sickly child with a very large appetite. It was about six months when I finally summoned the courage to take him for genotype testing, after samples had been taken, I waited patiently for the test results, the wait seemed like forever. After three hours of waiting I had to go into the lab and demand the results. The microbiologist would give excuses so I
knew something was up. A few minutes later, the most senior microbiologist in the lab walked up to me, before he could complete what he was saying I asked “It’s SS right?”, the affirmation on his face broke
me, I walked home crying with my baby strapped to my back and I kept repeating to myself, ” I am a bad
mother, I have failed my child, what have I done?, how can I subject my child to this?” I wept bitterly, nothing could give me happiness or joy. It affected my work productivity, my family life, and my social life.
Although I was down, I immediately registered him for the SCD clinics, I took precautions, I improved his
diet, I began researching Sickle Cell Disease, I connected with mothers with Sickle Cell Disease, and we
shared observations and suggestions.
The nurses and doctors were always welcoming and readily available. Unfortunately, we come across people who have no understanding of our situation and who make
we feel we just blowing things out of proportion, if only they knew the weight we carry in our hearts, the
hopelessness we feel a times.
Sometimes, I forget his medical condition, but whenever he breaks down it feels like the end of
happiness, the whole feeling of guilt and self-resentment ignites itself back to my life. Those days and
nights of sleeplessness, the pain of watching him go through pain, and all I can do are to pray and give him
the best care I can, my heart gets shattered into bits of pieces.
This, I have brought upon my child. I
question myself if he would grow to have a normal childhood like every child. What will be my answer
when he begins to question his medical state in the future? Would he forgive me? Would he see me as a
good mother? Will there come a time when I would stop biting myself so hard? I’m still wondering.
Ignorance is not bliss, but a silent time bomb waiting to explode. Love and attraction should not be the only basis for marriage, but also genotypes play a key role. It is time we stop only reading about Sickle Cell Disease and begin to give genotype investigation its due call.
Jamila Yunusa Sulieman is an Abuja-based mother of 4, and a graduate of Ahmadu Bello University, English and Literary Studies Department. She has a passion for enlightening others and imparting knowledge. She can be reached Via her Email address suleimanjamila21@gmail.com.
