Dear men, women are visual beings too, by Aisha M Auyo

Dear men, women are visual beings too, by Aisha M Auyo

I have been writing about how ladies should be patient, understanding, tolerant, verbally appreciate their men, admire them, massage their ego, constantly upgrade themselves to please their men, etc…. and the guys are loving it. It’s about time the ladies get their cries heard.

We all love good things. And I know it’s a man’s nature not to give a damn what his woman thinks about his looks after he married her. The truth is, smart men know that to appease their women, is to please themselves. Most time, women reciprocate what they feel. If they’re happy, they radiate that energy to the people around them, and trust me, a positive vibe is contagious.

You’ve seen her, and you wanted nothing but to marry her at that moment, you will do anything to please, impress, convince, attract, and marry her. That’s not the end bro. You need to work on staying happily married to her. You need to stay attractive to her. Women are strange beings, simple, yet complicated. Basic things like hygiene, (Oral, toilet, clothes, head, nails, and general body cleanliness) choice of perfume, or outfits can make her love or hate you. Yes, we don’t dislike, we hate. Lol.

Frankly, I don’t want to write about this, I don’t want to start telling an adult male how to groom himself, but the direct messages and tags I receive are too numerous to ignore, so, let’s do this!

It was reported to me that, most men don’t flush after peeing…. yes You’ve read that correctly…. I owe it to my girls to bring this out. And when they flush after number 2, they don’t bother to wait and see if everything is cleared, and talk less about using the toilet brush, or air freshener.

The ideal way of cleaning up after answering the call of nature is to wash down there with soap and water. Water alone will do for purification, but you need the soap for hygiene and a good smell.

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When it comes to underwear, kindly change it daily. Buy as much as you can. There are affordable ones for everyone’s pocket. Nigerian weather is not very friendly. Those sweatpants and tight trousers are bad for hygiene. Abeg, let your body breathe!

Mouthwash, clove, and chewing gum are not for the ladies alone. They’re oral hygiene stuff for both genders. Teeth scaling, polishing, and dental check-ups are not for celebrities. They’re for everyone. Manicure and pedicure, shaving here and there every Friday is sunnah. Shampoo, conditioner, and anti-dandruff are for both genders. Especially guys that keep their hair, know that the decision comes with financial responsibility.

Wash or sanitize your hands first thing when you get home. Bathing and brushing after work, using deodorant, body spray, antiperspirants, perfumes (I know most of you do these before going out), the problem is, when you are home. Your wife deserves the best version of you. And please ask her what she thinks of your perfume. If her choice isn’t the same as yours, use your own choice when you are going out, and her choice when you are home.

When your wife nonchalantly suggests that you freshen up, get the clue dude….. she may not spell it out that you stink. And if anyone you trust offers you clove, chewing gum, or minted sweets, gladly accept it, chances are, you need to freshen your breath. Accept corrections and observations about your hygiene with an open mind.

If you notice that your woman is avoiding body contact or conversations with you, check your hygiene. A wife prepares and waits for the whole day just to be with her man. So if she’s keeping her distance, something must be wrong somewhere. Freshen up and both of you will be alright.

Women love money, they say, but decent women love hygienic and good-smelling men, more. If you have money, use it to look and smell good. If you don’t, make sure you are not dirty. There are cheaper options for looking and smelling good. A woman can never hate a neat and good-smelling guy. Women pay attention to how you smell more than how you look.

And that annoying ‘Jallabiya’ you guys wear from Friday evening till Monday morning, please try and change the habit. It pisses us off. If we ladies can change at least two attire a day, just to please you, you may as well reciprocate the gesture. There are comfy casual wear that are very available and affordable.

The Morning breathe… we know it’s unavoidable, but hey, brush your teeth before sleeping, use mouthwash, and chew mint leaves, or clove before bed. That morning intimacy couples are hyping, isn’t so great with morning breath. Brush before going to subhi prayer please, (That one na your fellow men dey complain), just brush before talking to anyone. Drink water and date, or eat apples to neutralize the acidity in that empty stomach.

In general, a good smell has a calming effect on the one who has it, and the one who breathes it. Bad smell is not only offensive to the nose, but it also damages the recipient’s mood. It angers the recipient instantly. The sad thing is, most people oozing bad smell do not know. So, as a person, do everything humanly possible not to smell bad. Don’t ever be too busy or in a hurry at the detriment of your body care and grooming.

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, caterer, parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk