The data boy hustle, by Makut Alfred Mashat, Anipr
”Data Boy” work has no pension. If it did, the children of the elite would be the ones leading the charge.
The political elite, who vanished and stopped taking calls after the 2023 elections, are suddenly reaching out to the very people they avoided.
A wave of support groups for re-elections and new entrants has sprung up overnight. “Data boys” and “data girls” are being recruited with reckless abandon, flooding WhatsApp groups, tagging people on Facebook, and churning out Instagram videos and X tweets.
As 2Baba sang: “E be like say dem wan start another story again o… e be like say dem wan dance, galala na the real dance.”
Fact Check: Their own children, relatives, and associates are safely tucked away in the NNPC, FIRS, and NCC. Meanwhile, the youth who are “pros” at “databoism” are either begging to be reinstated as sacked civil servants or—for the “lucky” ones—being gifted cheap Android phones and “urgent 2k” for data.
The only “pension” these data boys and girls ever receive is the chance to mobilise for campaigns, wear branded t-shirts and caps, and collect a 5k feeding allowance.
They spend their days walking under the scorching sun with placards reading: “VOTE MAKUT AGAIN,” “ON MAKUT’S MANDATE WE STAND,” or “IT’S MAKUT OR WE DIE HERE.”
Let’s be real: it is the children of the poor or a son of a nobody who excel at this “Ajayi work.” Political leaders know the youth don’t mind the grind because they know that SAPA (extreme poverty) is real and relentless.
So, while the data boys and girls are busy hating one another, pulling each other down, and insulting their entire lineages to defend failure or project “micro-achievements,” the sons and daughters of the elite are chilling in air-conditioned suites, watching American Idol on their iPhones.
The elite are strategising to groom their children to replace them while the son of a common man is planning to pull his own fellow common man down by all means.
Wisdom remains far from the youth, who seem unable to rally together to support their own despite their massive numerical voting strength.
On the Plateau, SAPA has turned “data boys” into “data men” as the hustle is taken over by older generations.
The struggle is real as even the data boy work has limited edition with threats of extinction.
READ ALSO: Enugu tech bros and Nigeria’s yabacon valley, by Osmund Agbo
The Legend Bob Marley, paraphrasing Halie Sellasie left us with a charge since 1980;
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy, cause none of them can stop the time.”
Makut is a Public Relations Practitioner and a digital creator, social and political commentator with a profound activism in youth advocacy and good governance.
Email: munataray@gmail.com
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