Praise the good, cover the weaknesses, in marriage and beyond, by Aisha Musa Auyo

I will start my write-up with this Hadith; The Prophet peace be upon him said: “Nothing is heavier on the believer’s scale on the Day of Judgment than good character.” (Sunan al-Tirmidh)

If we pay attention and are being fair to ourselves, then I bet you have realized that none of us is perfect. We all have areas in our lives in which we excel, and we all have areas in which some people would claim we are wonderful failures. This will be true in your marital life as well. So let’s try and upgrade our character based on this fact.

The main problem where most marriages and relationships go wrong is because we fail to praise each other’s strengths, and we also tend to criticize each other weaknesses.

Let me tell you from experience. I love getting praise when I do something good, but if I totally blow something, I am already critical and upset enough with myself that I do not need my mate coming in and twisting the knife, so to speak. I am fairly sure everyone out there would agree with me on this.

If you want to do this marriage thing right, you need to lavishly shower each other with praise, especially when they excel at something, and very lightly use the hammer to correct and criticize. Pray about the problems and let Allah, The Most High do the work. Crushing your spouse’s soul will only push them away and never pull them towards you. When you see your spouse has messed something up, this is a time to draw them into your arms, hug them tight, and assure them everything will be ok.

READ ALSO: Our words have the power to build or break our marriages, by Aisha Musa Auyo

Marriage is teamwork, not competition, so learn to be each other’s support and encouragement. If you find that you have strength in an area where your spouse is weak, then be the forerunner in that area of the relationship and let your mate do the things they excel at. This is only possible in a healthy, selfless, and progressive marriage.

If you are both weak in an area, agree to work together to accomplish it. Learning to use this key properly will cause tremendous harmony in your relationship.

This formula can be used beyond marital relationships. Any kind of relationship could do with it. From parents – children, teachers – students, siblings, coworkers, employer-employee, you name it.

In a world where you can be anything…. choose positivity, compassion, empathy, and kindness. Remember, people may forget how you look, but they may never forget how you made them feel.

One more reason to be kind, encouraging, and compassionate is the prophet hadith that The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, a mother, a homemaker, caterer, parenting, and relationship coach. She can be reached via aishamuauyo@live.co.uk

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