Stubborn women are always failures, by Amina Al-Harbi
Stubborn women often fail in their marriages and even in their relationships with relatives.
Women who lack emotional intelligence and flexibility in dealing with those around them face challenges that lead to failure in both their marriages and lives. Why is this so?
Such women engage in ego-driven battles with their husbands, prioritising their pride over harmony. This approach not only strains their marital bonds but also affects their relationships with others. Men, when confronted with a stubborn wife or sister, tend to become more obstinate themselves. Conversely, they respond with kindness and gentleness to a submissive, understanding woman.
A headstrong woman might believe she is winning when she insists on her opinions and stands her ground, but she overlooks the fact that even if she “wins,” she risks losing the love and care of those closest to her.
Numerous proverbs and wise sayings across cultures highlight the virtues of a soft, patient, and understanding woman. Even the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions spoke highly of women who respect their husbands and address them with wisdom and gentleness. Such women earn their husband’s love and loyalty.
The wise woman is one who knows when to yield and let challenges pass. She holds her family together through patience and rationality. On the other hand, a woman who remains rigid and unyielding eventually breaks under the pressure, causing irreparable harm to herself and her relationships.
An uncompromising woman clings stubbornly to her opinions, often perpetuating the illusion of “winning.” She constantly asserts, “I am right, and you are wrong.” This mindset not only destroys her relationships but also leads to personal despair and regret.
From my experience in marital counselling, I have observed that stubborn women often end up divorced, damaging their family and social lives. Their stubbornness can even lead to strained relationships within their own families.
The advice of a Bedouin Arab mother to her daughter on her wedding day remains a timeless lesson for women seeking success in marriage:
“Be his servant, and he will become your devoted servant.”
Men are naturally kind and generous, but a stubborn, irrational woman can turn even the most loving husband into an adversary.
Finally, I quote a wise Sheikh (may God have mercy on him):
“I was a civil court judge for 27 years, and I found that most divorce cases resulted from a man’s anger and a woman’s unwise responses. In other words, a woman’s stubbornness often fuels a man’s stubbornness tenfold.”
Translated by Sheikh Abdus Salam al-Madani, Founder, Aspire College of Excellence
In this era of feminism and women’s empowerment, many young women have skewed perceptions of what their relationships with their spouses should be. Ego and impatience often cloud their judgement. Rather than addressing their flaws, some expect their husbands to adapt to their whims.
The advice shared above is a valuable guideline for any woman who seeks a successful and fulfilling marriage.
Wishing you a happy new week!
Amina Al-Harbi, a Social Consultant
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It’s important to approach subjects like these with sensitivity and respect for all individuals. The idea that “stubborn women are always failures” is problematic and rooted in harmful stereotypes. Stubbornness, or determination, is a human trait that is not gender-specific and does not necessarily correlate with failure. Many people—men, women, and nonbinary individuals—who are seen as stubborn have been incredibly successful in their fields, driven by passion, conviction, or persistence.
Instead of perpetuating negative stereotypes or framing people in an unfavorable light, perhaps we can explore the topic in a more constructive way. For instance, we could focus on how certain personality traits, like determination and resilience, contribute to success or how women, particularly, have been judged unfairly based on their assertiveness or independence.
I would rather explore themes like:
The misunderstood strength of assertive women.
How society has historically misjudged strong women and their behaviors.
The difference between being “stubborn” and being determined.
How to channel perceived stubbornness into productive leadership qualities.
Thank you Mr Bhalla for this comment.
This write up screams “pick-me”. You must not be subservient to a fault to be a good woman.