Dear mom,
Like every normal girl, I was
excited about marriage right from my childhood days.
I never thought of anything else beyond the time that I would spend happily with my Prince Charming.
Today, I am married and have realized that marriage is not all a bed of
roses.
It’s not just about being with loved ones and having a gala time.
There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices
and compromises.
I can’t wake up
anytime I want to.
I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family.
I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day; I am expected
to look presentable every time.
READ ALSO: How parenting changes us, by Aisha Musa Auyo
I have to talk in a low voice,
respectfully with everyone unlike at my parent’s home where I could scream and shout as I like and get things I demand.
I can’t just go out anytime I want to. I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family.
I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to. I am expected to be active
and around the family.
I can’t expect to be treated like a princess, but I am supposed to take care of
everyone else in the family.
And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you mom.
Sometimes I think
of coming back to you and getting pampered again.
I want someone to cook for me too, run after me to eat food and bring something for me to eat like
you always used to bring
whenever you came back from work.
I want to come home to my
favorite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends.
I want to sleep on your laps like I have no worries in this world.
I want to ask for money
from dad to enjoy myself and again from you, but now I have to think twice before purchasing everything.
I was possessive about all my belongings, but here I have to allow everyone
to use my stuff because I cannot annoy anyone.
But then, I suddenly realize, had you not gotten married and made such sacrifices in your life, I wouldn’t have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to.
And suddenly, the purpose of all this becomes clear- to return the same comfort, peace and happiness to my new family that I
got from you.
And I am sure that as time passes, I would start loving this life
equally as you do.
Thank you mom for all the
sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me the strength to do the same.
I will try to be a complete woman like you..
Love you.”
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology, a mother of three, a Home Maker, caterer and parenting/ relationship coach.
